Weight loss is so hard to maintain
In this article I want to address ONE factor that affects everything we do!
Self-talk related to self-discipline.
Everyone talks to themselves, and this dialoged is internal. We have a dialogue in our head about what is happening around us. This dialogue of words includes the current words you are saying and thinking, they are you’re conscious words or stream of consciousness.
The second set of words are related to what you are aware of but only notice when your attention is brought to them. An example here is if you are wearing shoes, and I mention you are wearing shoes, you will notice and “FEEL’ your shoes on your feet. As soon as your attention moves away from your shoes, even though you know they are there, you no longer notice or feel them. This is called attention or focus.
The last set of words are the words we say about ourselves when something happens that we like or dislike. This set of words are buried deeply in our subconscious and are generally revealed by some unpleasant event. We typical are reactive or “emotionally charged” when these words show up. An example would be the feeling of deep love when a friends mentions how much they care for you. Or when YOU mess up and you have words that reveal what you THINK about yourself in a negative form. Every word has an emotion attached to it. This is wiring from past experiences.
We don’t generally feel the emotion, but we do notice the words that show up in our head.
When we are doing well with our weight loss, we feel great. We are able to maintain the discipline of choosing well. It seems easy and life is good. We have good self talk and these words are the result of these great feelings.
When we are not doing well with our weight loss, we generally are not feeling great about ourselves. Hence the emotions influence the words we say to our selves and those words are usally negative.
There some things that easy to do and somethings that are not easy to do. When things are not easy to do, generally we think we are not “disciplined’ enough. In other words, we are not able to stay the course, there is always some REASON. Knowing that reason seldom changes the course. It still is difficult.
Here is a thought. As a life coach and therapist, my research has validated my personal experience.
My self talk has more to do with my behavior than I am willing to admit.
What I say to myself when I am not as disciplined as I want to me is very revealing!
“Why do I do that?” “What’s wrong with me?” “I always do that!” “No matter how hard I try I always make the same mistake” or any variation of this.
This is LEARNED language! By learned, I mean the way you experience discipline growing up is how you talk to yourself.
If you were encouraged and supported well as a child, then your language will reveal that to you.
Any other kind of discipline reveals language that is less than encouraging. When we are “less than” or have a negative view of ourselves when we mess up, it reveals an earlier experience with discipline.
That means YOU were taught or learned that discipline was about defining yourself. Negative discipline in our early years results in negative self-talk. We repeat this same negative self-talk as an adult.
We are emotional beings. Even if you don’t feel the emotions, they are still influencing our choices. Words have emotions attached to them. When we are aware of the words we say to ourselves, then we have the best change of change.
NOT BY CHANGING THE WORDS. BY CHANGING THE CORE EMOTIONS ABOUT SELF.
What does work is changing the emotions that are associate with the words we say.
This is what EVERY bariatric patient has learned while working with me. The awareness of words and the emotions attached to them gives you a better chance.
This is so important to learn I have a free video here that covers the details of how our brains behave.